I was listening to the radio on the way to work this morning, and they were talking about things that you shouldn’t do after you turn 30. They said things like sleeping over at friend’s houses after partying too hard, and how your parents shouldn’t be paying for stuff anymore, like bills or plane tickets to see them. Yes, totally agree. Although I could argue that if you are too wasted to drive, of course you shouldn’t. But also, you probably should’ve thought ahead to that point, before you even started. But anyways, not my point. Then the guy got his mom on the phone, and they all started talking about how you should stop having babies after 30.
Uh, what? Why? The host’s mother goes on to say that when you get older, it just gets harder, and tiring. She goes on to say how at 48 she has a 17 year old, who is just absolutely wearing her thin. How it was easier with his brother, who was 12 years older, because she had him when she was really young. She had tons of energy then, and it was just easier to be a parent at a younger age. The radio hosts both agreed that yes, this made sense, you should just stop having babies after you turn 30 years old.
When I was 15, young, innocent, blissfully ignorant…..if you had asked me where I thought I would be in 10 years, I would’ve told you that I would be married, with a house, and a kid or two, at least, by the time I was 25. HA! Oh 15 year old Brittany, you were just precious. Fast forward 13 years, and you find me here today, a little under 2 months away from my 28th birthday. Wow, I must say, I can’t remember it much, but it must’ve been nice to have that vision of life back then.
A few years ago, I decided that 30 was a good age to have a baby. I told my now husband, then boyfriend, this and he agreed. He’s 3.5 years younger than me, so that would put him at 27ish, when we have this completely hypothetically child. It should be noted that this completely hypothetical child would have gorgeous blue eyes, and hopefully red hair, and of course freckles. Anyways, we both agreed that this would be a good age. We figured that by that time, we’d have better incomes, and a house, whether it be rented or if we owned it. This year we bought our first home; a three bedroom ranch, with a nice fenced in backyard. My husband is 24, and I’m 27. We also got married this year, after being together for over 7 years. People say we sure took our time, and I think yes, we took our time, and it was worth it.
My point in saying that I wanted to wait until I was 30 to have kids, is because I didn’t want us to ever worry about how we are going to pay for a baby. Not just food, clothes, and doctor visits. I mean the actual act of having a baby, childbirth, labor. According to my insurance calculator that will run us at least $5k. Ouch. Then add the everyday things into that, double ouch. I don’t want to worry about that! As if having a new baby, being first time parents, and first time homeowners isn’t stressful enough?! No one needs that extra stress. Yes, there will always be stress, but I would rather that stress not be our bank account.
Back to the radio show. If a person feels like when they’re under 30, they can still party until they pass out at a friends, or call their parents up to ask them to fill their gas tank, then why exactly should these people, at this stage in their lives, be reproducing? I feel like if you get your water bill, and you say “oh shit” when you see it, you should probably think twice before you have a baby. If the day before payday, you literally have zero food in your house, you should probably think twice before you have a baby. If you struggle to make ends meet as is, you should definitely think twice before you have a baby. I’m not saying that people can’t make it work, of course people make it work, I see it all the time. People grow up quickly when they find out they’re about to be parents. Although, there are a lot out there who don’t. People find better jobs, bigger apartments, they buy houses, and shop consignment sales.
Believe me when I say, I know, I’m aware, I’ve been informed. I hold these parents in awe, a sense of wonderment, that they make it work, and haven’t psychically pulled all of their hair out yet. I, on the other hand, simply couldn’t do it. I’m the type of person who has to prepare for things. Bless my husband, because even though he himself is pretty spontaneous, he respects that I’m not. I’m the type of person who preps for a dinner with friends, the night before. Because I know if I have to come home from work, make dinner, play hostess, and clean up after, I might cry before the end of the night. That’s just the type of person I am. So getting pregnant and saying, hell, we’ll make it work! You might want to check my mental health if I ever say that.
So no, I don’t think you should stop having kids after 30. I don’t think that people need to rush their lives. If you want to get all anthropological about it, people didn’t use to live past 40. So yes, getting married and having babies young was a priority. If you waited, it probably wouldn’t happen for ya. But now, now people live at least twice that long. So why is everyone in such a rush?